Robin Williams...and hiding depression
A year ago today, the world lost a dynamic actor and comedian, Robin Williams. He took his own life, and it was only after the fact that people learned of his mental health issues. I can't help but wondering, what would have happened if we knew? What if he was open about it? This is not even me being kind; this is me being selfish. I want to know how being open about his mental heath issues would have impacted his life. I know these are questions we will never know the answer to, but for my sake, I wish I did.
Growing up as a 90s kid, Williams was in almost every blockbuster of my child life! I saw him and actors like him and never once did it cross my mind that something might be wrong with him. That being said, I don't think most people know when someone is suffering from depression.
I haven't gone to great lengths to hide my own depressiosn, but it is something I typically don't talk about. It's an isolating thing. No one really understands it, unless they have it themselves. Hell, even mental health providers are just now starting to learn that treatment for depression isn't one size fits all.
I don't know what more of a fitting tribute to this man, than to be more open about my mental health. I have been fighting with depression since I was twelve years old. It doesn't go away; it's like some dark shadow waiting to consume you. I want to be more open about it because I don't want to go into the darkness, alone, scared, and tired. I want to have people around me that know when my days are darker and I am having a hard time getting up out of bed or even finding a purpose. I'm not going to shout from the rooftops, but I think this blog entry is a step in the right direction. I hope that I can make it through this.